You can do it...

It has been a long time since I last blogged here and a hell of a lot has changed since then. Mainly life has got increasingly nicer for me and, as I find it easier to write when I am a bit pissed off, putting pen to paper (err... fingers to keyboard?...) has rendered the last year rather unproductive, but only in a literary sense. 2006 so far has been an incredibly kind year to me and we are only four and a half months in. OK so it is true that I am still working in an office, but I am no longer temping! (WOOHOO!)
I now have a permanent job and, with not a small amount of relief, a salary to match. This transition from insecure office lackey to regular employee occurred in February and a short while later I went from being a database administrator to a database co-ordinator ...calm down, I know it is exciting, but there is no need for hysterics now is there? Anyway you may mock, but compared to this time last year I am earning nearly 50% more, (which is testament more to how badly I was paid as a temp rather than how well I am being paid now!)

I should also point out that I have gone from working in the imports department in a shipping company to working in a marketing department of a large diy retailers, which is a much nicer environment to be employed in, especially for someone with creative tendancies.

As if this improvement in my occupational situation wasn't enough, I also got a very nice illustration commission from a large advertising agency, which is getting my chosen career back on track - I am in the middle of converting my attic into a studio and once that is done I will have a major stab at becoming an illustrator, and this commission has really helped.

So all in all I have little to complain about, sorry. You will just have to put up with me being cheery!

But why, you ask, if I am so happy have I started writing again? Well I read back some of my old posts are they are quite well written, and the more I write the better I write (as you can see I am a bit out of practice) all I have to do is find some things to moan about (no one wants to read about how nice things are when there are grimey hottid avenues to explore, do they?)

Edmonds = turd, Peel = genius

Steve Lamacq recalls bumping in to John Peel at Glastonbury one year: "I said to him 'How's it going?' and he said 'Quite eventful. I've just shaken hands with someone dressed as a turd. I've never shaken hands with a turd before - unless you count Noel Edmonds.'"

Papa's gotta brand new ...belt?

Yep indeed, I bought it from Asda and it only cost £5! I think it looks really cool, it meets with my long neglected rock sensibilities, so all in all I am pretty happy.

The thing that bothers me though is that I can now buy cool clothes at a supermarket. How many years ago would've that last sentence sounded absurd? Not too many I can tell you... Maybe I am just getting old and these clothes that I think are cool are in fact the modern equivalent of cardigans and slacks that our parents wore when we were kids. Certainly when I was a teenager, looking cool either costs lots of money or took a lot of effort to track down the right garments in charity shops or retro shops in Camden, but now you can buy it (or your mum can buy it) next to tinned veg and washing powder. So if it so freely available, is it still trendy? The look that people of my age finely honed and made our own is nowavailable to all and sundry.

And it's not just clothes. Festivals, such as the perenial Glastonbury, where once the preserve of the enlightened rock/indie fans, now however, it has gone as commercial as Asda... (only Asda is known for being cheap)

Coldplay... £120 tickets... trendy belts in Asda...

They've stolen my youth and remarketed it for profit (OK not Asda) I don't know what the cool kids of today have to offer us in ten years time, but I am sure it too will be exploited for a quick buck...

The sword drops...

Once again the sword of Damocles proves the precariousness of the temporary
employees position. Yes, it is once again time for me to clear my desk and
head for pastures new (well in six weeks time). It's a shame as I really
liked working here. The job is a bit dull, but the people are nice and the
office is close to home. I have been here for a year now and feel like part
of the furniture. For a long time the carrot of a permenant job was dangled
in front of me, but today that carrot has gone and my services are no
longer require. In a Mary Poppins' sort way, my work here is done. I won't
be stepping out the window (eleven stories up) with an umbrella in my hand
though, things aren't that bad... but I am now faced with weeks of
job-hunting and the stress of an uncertain future... bugger!

The Perfect Cuppa

I may not take much pride in my work, I do what I have to do and no more
and I don't really care how it is done, just as long as it is and I don't
get any hassle over it and, most importantly, get paid for it. A cup of
tea, however, is something I always take as much pride in making as
possible. Why? Well it is one of those things in life where a tiny little
bit of effort makes such a big difference (reletively of course!) A
properly made cup of tea is heavenly, and sloppily made cuppa is
disgusting.
Naturally, peoples tastes vary, I have some Irish relatives whose idea of a
good cuppa is one where the teabag plays only the most cursory and almost
incedental part in it's brewing. (bleugh!) I, however, like my tea strong.
Given the opportunity, I like to drink leaf tea, as it is easy to get a
good strength without stewing the pot, not to mention the far superior
flavour! Teabags, especially the ones here in the office, require a lot of
squeezing to get any flavour out. And as for the assertation that you can
get two cups of tea from one bag (a theory expounded by Nicey and Wifey,
the writers of the fabulous website www.nicecupofteaandasitdown.com) well
that is absurd! But, as I have already said, tastes vary, and if that is
how some people like to drink their hot beverages so be it. What I really
object to is someone offering to make the tea and then doing a half arsed
job! People who know how you like your drink but can't be bothered to do it
properly... It is not unusual, in an attempt to strengthen the tea, that
people just add less milk, this is wrong, wrong, wrong! All it takes is
that magic ingredient "love". A little bit of thought and care can make all
the difference... People of the world, I implore you; LOVE YOUR MUG, and
make the world a better place!

Oh Bondage, UP YOURS!

Bind me tie me, Chain me to the wall, I wanna be a slave to you all.

Just swap the word "wall" for "desk"! Okay, so it doesn't rhyme ...and it
doesn't make for a very good punk song expounding the plight of female
emancipation, but it does sum up quite nicely how I feel at work right now.

Is it me or are people who work in offices suckers for punishment? This
morning a colleague in my office slammed the phone down on a customer so
hard I am surprised she didn't break the handset, before running off to the
toilets for a bit of a sob. She had only been in work 15 minutes!
Occurrences such as this happen on a regular basis in many offices. The
dishing out of abuse, tyranny and bullying are tolerated in the work place
far more readily than in any other environment (with the exception of
schools, but luckily those days are past). Add these to the other daily
grinds that don't manifest themselves in anything substantial such as
stress, boredom, frustration and you have to ask yourself why anybody would
tolerate it. Well, we all need to work, otherwise how else would we pay our
mortgages and feed our families. The real element of all this is how
seemingly intelligent people except this as the status quo. Just because
someone knows more about a banal pointless job, they somehow acquire power
over you, and this is just accepted? Well I say "Oh office job, UP YOURS!
...just as soon as I have enough time to look for something better, which I
don't because I am working too much because I have to pay the mortgage...
oh, bugger!

Currently reading: Dirk Gently

Actually just finished reading: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency, by
Douglas Adams.

Douglas Adams is much better known for The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy
and subsequent sequels (can you have subsequent sequels?) than he is for
Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency and The Long Dark Teatime of the
Soul, (which also features Dirk Gently). However those that read these
books become instant fans. I have read every book by Douglas Adams
innumerable times. The depth of intelligence woven into these yarns means
each time you read them you discover some new hidden depths, and so they
withstand almost infinite re-reading.

This must be at least the 4th or 5th time I have read Dirk Gently's
Holistic Detective Agency, but this time was different. This time, for the
first time ever, I understood the ending! Strangely every time I start
re-reading it, I forget that the ending is completely confusing and it
always comes as a bit of a surprise. The quality of the writing and the
great plot means that it doesn't detract too much from the enjoyment as it
still sort of makes sense, you just don't know why! Now, thanks to the
wonders of the Internet, it only took a couple of minutes to dig out an
explanation. This was made all the more easier as it was obviously the one
thing everyone wants to know about the book. You see it all depends on
whether you have an intimate knowledge of the works of Coleridge, which of
course I don't. (I went to see The Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner at the
National when I was 11 but I don't remember much about it? except it had a
good stunt where a man fell down the rigging) A couple of paragraphs of an
explanation cleared the whole thing up easily enough. It does rather seem
as if Douglas Adams massively over estimated most of his audience's
intelligence. Obviously the man himself is hugely clever, but would it of
hurt to just make the ending a bit clearer for us ignoramuses?

Any way, I am going to print off the explanation I found and stick it in
the back of the book so that future readers are not left perplexed by the
baffling conclusion.

About the book:
http://www.douglasadams.com/creations/0671746723.html

The explanation:
http://www.zootle.net/afda/faq/e.shtml

If you haven't read it, make it top of your list and read it NOW!